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Pfaus says it's because when you're in that "beautiful, magical, post-orgasmic state with someone, your brain releases oxytocin and opioids" (chemicals linked to happiness and romantic love), creating an attachment — which some research has likened to addiction — to the person you've been with.Defaulting to the pleasure you already know can feel a lot more natural — and less scary — than starting fresh.
And in 2015, you can dump your ex, but unless you have the Herculean strength to unfriend him on Facebook and unfollow him on Snapchat, you're reminded constantly of his existence. "You can't cut that person out completely and heal." The result: a generation that isn't really sure how to break up..
"You get one tiny little urge to email or text that person, and boom! We're also used to the cycle of swiping, liking, and effing — and while it can be spontaneous and fun, it can also leave you feeling like there's a pile of dust where your heart used to be.
When Kiri Blakely first met her ex, "he made me laugh like no other human being." But after a year of witty banter, Blakeley, a writer in her 30s in New York, wanted to get more serious, and Luke (not his real name), a bro bouncing around the city, didn't. and, a few months later, got back together with him. "I would think, Oh, he does want the same things; he knows he made a mistake.
And then broke up with him, took him back, and broke up with him again for the next six years. Then I would get back together with him, and the cycle would happen all over again."They're not the only ones breaking up and making up on a loop. An estimated 44 percent of people ages 17 to 24 have reconciled and started over with an ex, according to a recent study by Bowling Green State University and the University of Wisconsin at Milwaukee.
On average, yo-yo daters broke up two times within one year, according to study co-author Sarah Halpern-Meekin, Ph.
D., now an assistant professor of human development and family studies at the University of Wisconsin at Madison.
"A little space and time can heal wounds and spark introspection," says O'Neal.
Nicole Jackson, a 27-year-old from Richmond, Virginia, says during a recent break from her boyfriend of a year (he needed "space"), they both realized how much they want to be together.
"I am in no way the Virgin Mary, but I've just always felt like given the choice, I should try to stay in the same pool rather than sleep with a complete stranger." Recent research from Oakland University shows that casual sex isn't so casual after all.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating