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Which explains a date Marie Schantz* had a few years ago.

They were enjoying a lovely first date, finished dinner and decided to keep the night going with drinks at a nearby bar.

Within minutes another woman came up to her date to say “hi” and introduced herself to Schantz.

“They don’t want to buy someone another house, another car.” “The people they’re meeting are not serious about a relationship,” L’Heureux says.

“There are a lot of players out there that are not serious—are not relationship material.” And then there’s the elephant in the room: Many single men are looking for younger women.

In fact, talk to virtually any single woman over 40 in Southwest Florida and you’ll hear a similar story: multiple women for every man, unresponsive online matches, a shallow dating pool, and, of the relatively few dateable men around, poor manners and an understanding they are a hot commodity.

“They feel like they don’t really need to put any work in,” says Catherine Clarkson*, a 58-year-old divorcée who’s lived in Naples since 2010.

The man got a bit awkward but kept the date going, but the woman never left them.

“It turns out he had met—and slept with—this other woman the night before,” Schantz says.

In fact, during their first date he mentioned he had traveled around the world four times just that year.

“I asked him if he went anywhere interesting,” Ottenstein says.

Now they’re at a place in their lives where they recognize they need a man who can keep up with them—both emotionally and financially.

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