Getting rejected online dating
I recently visited the Apple Genius bar for help with my Mac. I started to leave after our session and then turned my ass right around and went back inside and, when I couldn’t find him, gave my card to another employee to give to him. Be warned: The more time you spend in a gaggle of ladies, the less time you spend taking the risk of putting yourself out there in a real way–making yourself vulnerable, trying, and, failing.
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And I’m not especially afraid of talking to attractive strangers, a point frequently commented on by friends who’ve watched me tally up strikeouts over the years.
One of my oldest buddies (who, let’s be honest, is kind of a bro) always likes to say I have great ‘deal flow.’ It’s a metaphor from his MBA program, meaning that he wishes he could meet as many ladies as I somehow manage to.
In that way, the net price of the rejections was $0.00, because I wasn’t making special trips to earn them. At some point, I’d signal interest in some (probably inept but socially acceptable) way, she would counter in one of those indirect indicators of non-concurrence and we’d both move on with our lives. But if you meet someone face to face and he or she does agree to go on a date, sure, that will still cost you money, too.
Still, that’s a world apart from a date that’s scheduled online.
During the year prior to my debut on matchmaking apps, I attained a respectable tally of rejections all on my own, despite the fact that I’m getting on in years and much of the time (for reasons) I wasn’t even really trying to put myself out there.
I think they amounted to, like I wrote above, about a dozen or so dismissals (I don’t keep a tally because it’s bad for the soul—though I met those women doing my thing, going places I wanted to go anyway. Maybe we’d even find out we both wanted to do the same thing and go there together.
You think you’re enlightened and independent, yet there you are clinging to this Disneyfied idea of romance, believing down deep that if you click your heels, the Right One will appear, if you just sit quietly and wait.
In fact, my challenge to you is to get rejected no fewer than three times. They go after what they want, and expect rejection.
You don’t need to “act” like a man, but you need to adopt the mentality, create the calluses, and push through it.
When I look at the past year alone, I’ve been told many times “no,” or “later,” and “maybe not.” STRIKE ONE: I was seeing a man in the midst of a divorce; he had pursued me.
When I asked whatever happened to him, he said he was dating other people, but decided he “didn’t want to continue our thing.” Our thing?Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating