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Lately, there has been some discussion among North Carolina family law attorneys about the torts of alienation of affections and criminal conversation.

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So if you really want to understand men, Jean, chew on this one for awhile: Men look for sex and find love. You would never sleep with someone you weren’t interested in. Our words are designed to charm you and make you feel comfortable.

Our actions reveal whether there’s any deeper intentions behind our words.

Although they are usually brought together, they are actually two separate causes of action with different elements.

Alienation of Affections – The elements for alienation of affections are: (1) A marriage with love and affection, (2) which is destroyed by, (3) the wrongful acts of a third party.

So, financially, the suit is only worth it if the third party has sufficient assets to enable you to recover more than you paid.

Of course, there’s often more than just the financial implications to consider.

North Carolina is one of only a handful of states that still allows a cause of action for adultery. On the other hand, these suits kind of shift the responsibility from the “guilty” spouse to the third party, which may not always be appropriate.

Now, before you run off and sue your cheating spouse’s paramour, make sure you check with your attorney so you know all of your options.

I The sex question is a popular one because it comes up in every dating situation. Turn sex into a reward for good behavior and time put-in and you’re missing the entire point.

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