Dating people at church

For you single and dating people, you’ll know what I’m talking about. I’m going to make an analogous leap and say that these also describe five types of churches. You see him across the room and shudder- a pot-bellied middle age guy with combed over hair sporting a tight-fitting Aeropostale shirt. He’s very open to talking with you and is interested in hearing what you have to say.

But if we’re not growing or shrinking- and both are really the same thing- then we’ve lost it. We need more bells and whistles, better advertising campaigns, MUCH better preaching and music, have more events that will get people into our doors, and then… Then we need to quickly encourage any new person to join and pay up. Needless to say, this kind of approach for churches in numerical decline is doomed to fail.

The most godly, loving and healthiest relationships I come across in Church, are the ones where the couple has admitted they had to keep quiet about their relationship for months and months initially, as they said the Church culture came with such a heavy pressure to get married that it threatened to ruin the relationship.

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But I wholeheartedly think we are getting dating wrong. Over the past six months, the subject of dating has laid heavy on my heart, as I've watched Christian guy and girl friends get their hearts completely broken, heads messed around and feel completely let down by the dating culture in the Church.

I’m no dating guru, far from it - I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak, massive screw ups on my part and freak outs - but the Church needs to raise its bar on dating.

Yet what you’re seeing doesn’t quite match what she thinks she is.

She glances you over and with a wink and smile says, “You. Walk yourself over here and buy me a drink.” So you walk over and sit down next to her. She tells story after story of the high profile men she’s dated, the places she’s been, and her big-paying uptown job. Then you realize that it’s all about her and hardly any about you… There are churches who are desperately lonely for new people, especially young people.

It doesn't say we are incomplete in life and ministry without a spouse.

Yet at times Church has made me feel that until I get into a godly romantic partnership, I’m not leading a fulfilling life.

He saunters over and says, “Hey baby, what’s shaking with you? ” Most obviously, this guy is trying to be something he’s not because he’s not confident or content with who he is. As you both talk, you can tell he’s very happy with his life and where he is. He knows who he is and spends his time with anyone who wants to come along for the ride. After a while, you sense that he would treat anyone who made the time and effort in the same way. They enjoy each others company and willingly involve new people into who they are. Churches just need to get on with being the church, knowing who they are and what God has purposed them to be and do.

Can I get your digits because I’m a ratings machine and you’re a perfect 10. He feels like he’s lost the cool factor he thinks he once had, and he needs it back. He just seems This is an ideal church, too and one who grows. They just get on with being the church God has called them to be. They love to get out into their neighborhoods to bless people with Jesus in real, practical ways. They believe that God is with them and that they are building Christ’s kingdom. Leave the dating game behind and God will grow the body of Christ in God’s way and in God’s time.

As I was brushing crumbs from my chin, the middle-aged woman next to me asked mildly, “So, are you married? Or maybe you’re so afraid of saying something wrong that you choose to say nothing at all. Sometimes we single women can be too sensitive about our singleness.

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