A non religious dating a mormon

With time I realized that the real problem was not the simple of our different religious beliefs, but rather J(2)’s inability or unwillingness to accept that we believed differently.

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Ryan Cragun, a sociology professor at the University of Tampa (who also happens to be ex-LDS) considers it an unexpected byproduct of the growing importance of the mission in the life of Mormon men; faced with the choice to serve or not (at a young age when they may not be fully ready to commit), many have chosen to leave.

The more pressure to serve, the more they feel obligated to leave altogether if they don’t meet this requirement (rather than remain and lose status in the community).

By Amelia Ten years ago, I was living in London where my friends and I often engaged in long, provocative discussions that sometimes lasted all night.

One night we had a long talk about whether we would marry men who were not Mormon. I had absolute trust in my loving Father-God that somehow it would work out that people who had the kind of marriage I wanted to have—a trusting, loving, deeply committed companionate marriage—would not be separated in the eternities.

When my friend asked me if I would consider dating and marrying someone who didn’t share my faith, I told her I would. Not that he accept my belief as his own; just that he accept that I believe what I believe without feeling compelled to change it or to make me justify it. I’d met him nearly a year earlier at Jana’s home for a day-after-Thanksgiving anti-consumerism party.

He says I completely ignored him there, despite his best efforts to engage me in conversation (I don’t remember ignoring him, but I must say it’s possible; I’m not always the best at socializing with strangers).

We encountered each other occasionally when he came to our Mormon studies group.

He sat next to me when I attended Quaker meeting with Jana and her family (J(wh) is Quaker). And last fall, pricked by something I’d written on my blog, he asked me out. Now, I have a pretty standard policy of saying yes to just about any man who asks me out. Either that or be involved in another relationship (no sister-girlfriend status for me, thank you very much).

Having been deeply hurt, I associated that hurt with the problems arising from religious difference and resolved that, for my own sake, I shouldn’t pursue relationships with non-Mormon men.

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